Saturday 1 April 2023

CULTURE: SO STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL

 

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PRANK WENT WRONG 1

One way of spicing up our relationship is by playing at least once in a week.

My wife loves rough play.

Since I am often at the receiving end with so much pains, I decided to take the play to another level by pranking my wife.

So on Sunday evening, my wife was using my phone to watch movie. 

There is this old Sim card I have not been using, but I do recharge it once in a while to keep it valid.

I picked the Sim card and my small phone.

"Babe, let me use the toilet. I'll be back. No finish my battery ooo," I told her.

In the toilet, I slot in the Sim card and wrote the message: "Honey! Dis pregnancy is becoming obvious. People are beginning to suspect it. Pls come and do small thing from the list you collected so I can go out anytime I want without fear of getting stigmatized that I got pregnant out of wedlock. My gas has finished, pls come and refill it for me tomorrow. We love you."

I then sent the message to my phone that my wife was using.

Few minutes later, I came out from the toilet fully prepared with the lines I was going to use in responding to any form of attack from my wife - be it verbal or physical.

But to my greatest surprise, so unlike her, my wife did not react. Not even from her facial expression.

I tried to get words from her, but she was very calm.

"You know I love you so much and no one will ever get in between us," I teased her.

"I know. I love you too. Thanks for staying true to our marital vows," she responded with a hug.

E shock me!

'Maybe the message didn't enter, or it entered but she didn't see,' I thought.

To satisfy my doubt, I decided to check the phone.

"Are you done with the phone? I want to make a call," I said.

"I'm not done, but you can have it. Let me bring food from the kitchen, before I'm back, you should be done. The movie is very interesting." She handed me the phone.

I quickly ran to the message app and discovered that the message was read.

'Then why did she not react?' I wondered.

A moment later, she brought the food with smiles all over her face.

"Darling! Dinner is served."

I was afraid to eat because we had rat poison in the house. 'What if the food is poisoned? No! You must not eat,' I assured myself. 

"Babe. I'm having stomach ache. My stool is watery. I don't think I will be able to take anything."

"Eyaaaaaah! So in that case I am permitted to eat your meat, right?"

"Yes dear! Go ahead please."

My goat meat and white soup. Chai! E really pain me. 

I watched as she did justice to the food but did not die. Maybe she took antidote, but I refused to be tempted to join her.

I kept waiting for her to ask me about the message so that the aim of the prank could be achieved, but she did not.

I became afraid of my own shadow, but as a man, I carried on as if nothing was wrong.

From Sunday till this morning, my wife did not mention the issue, neither did she act otherwise. 

I have been avoiding eating with her, instead I would prefer eating with my son. 

So this morning, she showed me the dress she bought for her mother and told me she has to deliver the dress in person.

So she left for the village this morning with my son.

This afternoon, I got a call from my father in-law asking me to come to the house. 

I do not know what the problem is, because my wife is still very friendly even on the phone. 

I will be going there tomorrow. When I return, I will update you all.

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