THE UNDERSTANDING THAT WILL HELP YOU TO PROTECT CHILDREN FROM SEXUAL ABUSE

By Nnabugwu Chizoba (Charismativ Chizy)

“To protect Children and Adolescents, from Sexual Abuse, it is important for Parents and Caregivers to understand why people sexually abuse Children and Adolescents and the situation which the abuse is most likely to occur. Very often, parents of a Child or Adolescent who has  been sexually abused say they found the Abuser’s interest in their child a bit strange, but found it hard  to believe  that this was the ‘kind of person’ who would do such a thing”.…Nnabugwu Chizoba.

 Although the topic of this piece refers to sexual abuse, I wish to start addressing issues relating to it by offering basic explanation of what constitutes Child Abuse and Neglect; and thereafter proceed into the discussion, where also Sexual Abuse will be explained. This will be followed by what Parents, caregivers, guardians, caretakers, uncles, nephews, cousins, and other relations, as well as friends need to know to be able to curb the rising menace of Sexual Abuse in the society. The nomenclature anyone decides or prefers to use or adopts to represent the one whose responsibility it is to take care of the child and adolescent is of no consequence in this write-up, the action and/or inaction of such a person(s) matter more in this regard.

The terminology Child Abuse and Neglect implies acts or failure to act by parents or other caregivers in situation(s) where they are supposed to do so to prevent the child or adolescent as the case may be, from impending harm, injury or pain. For such actions or failure to act, to constitute child abuse, it must have resulted to such things as death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation. It also encompasses actions, inactions or failure to act that presents or exposes the child to imminent danger or serious risk of harm.

Neglect as used in this piece of work refers to the inability or failure to meet a child’s basic needs. Such needs include: provision of enough food, shelter, medical or mental health care, education and emotional support and treatments that are necessary for proper upbringing and development of the child. I will be quick to point out that in this discourse the use of Child Neglect is more on emotional support, provision of food and shelter.  This position is not aimed in any way to undermine the effects of other factors associated with child neglect or Sexual Abuse.

Before proceeding further, it is necessary to assert without mincing words that abuse and neglect of children occur in homes of all tribes, religions and different income groups. They occur due to combination of factors, and as a result do not have any single reason why they happen. To disabuse the mind of those who erroneously believe or conclude that child neglect is associated with homes where poverty is more, I wish to state that neglect occur, in most cases, in the home of the rich, well to do and highly placed members of the society, whose children more often than not lack the emotional care and support of their parents, who are hardly there for them. As a routine activity, such Parents live their children in the hands of house helps, nannies and what have you. Any wonder most of such children end up as social misfits? 

By way of emphasis, let me underscore the fact that Sexual Abuse is used mainly to describe sexual behavior towards children.  It follows therefore that the use of sexual abuse in this work excludes sexual behaviours meted or directed at adults.

Sexual Abuse is comprised of touching a victim in a sexual, erotic, and amorous manner. It also covers the deceptive, criminal and dastardly acts, by which the perpetrator of Sexual Abuse makes or forces his/her victim to touch him/her in the manner already explained. It includes all actions that are directly or indirectly targeted at influencing a victim to see, watch or play with sexual body parts or organs and/or do such other activities that relate to these.

It is very important to note that some Sex Abusers target Pre-pubertal Children. These are children who have not developed the sexual characteristics of an Adult body. This category of Abusers is known and referred to as Pedophiles. The other category of Abusers, are those that target pubertal Children (Adolescents). They are called Hebephiles.

Beyond the need to make Parents and other caregivers understand the issues contained above, the objective of this piece is to help Parents and Guardians protect their children from sexual Abuse. Some basic information to help them achieve such is provided below.

To protect Children and Adolescents, from sexual Abuse, it is helpful to know why people commit acts of sexual abuse and the situation in which these acts are most likely to occur. 

Suffice therefore to say that the knowledge and understanding that some people have strong sexual interest in Children or Adolescents than in Adults is very critical. Equally useful, is the fact that some of the Pedophiles and Hebephiles continually scheme to identify the best time, approach and place to perfect their nefarious activity of sexually abusing children. Essentially also, is the understanding that such people are easily aroused by the idea of having sex relationship with a Child or Adolescent.

This above depends on whether the perpetrator is a Pedophile or Hebephile. In this regard, any opportunity that provides itself, especially that of being alone with a child or adolescent, increases the appeal and craving, to engage the child in an amorous and sexual act. Some of them are said to be stimulated by the feeling of power that they get from being able to molest their victims (children and adolescents). 

The above category of Abusers goes looking for children to molest. However, experts say that this category of Abusers, make up only a small portion of the people who have sexually abused a Child or Adolescent. They accumulate many victims over a long period of time.

To have access to their victims, the stock in trade of Pedophiles and Hebephiles is to befriend their target’s (Child or Adolescent’s) Parents and other offspring of the family. They exhibit all manners of kindness, including taken their targets to different places, offering to buy them things, buying such things and babysitting as well. They are reputed for taking volunteer role and working closely with Children and Adolescents. Another attribute to look out for in them is the fact that they are usually unmarried. Similarly, they don’t seem to have many Adult friends, other than those that give them access to their victims. They have a history of moving from one community to another, frequently. The basic reason they indulge in this pattern of life is to avoid detection or prosecution by the law.

A serious point that must be underscored is the fact that there are some members of the society, who are not aware that they are Pedophiles and Hebephiles. My simple word of caution, therefore, is to be very careful, wary and cautious, devoting some time to do a critical study and analysis of yourself. You are expected to be honest and very sincere in doing this. If you find that you are easily aroused by physical contact with children and adolescents, begin to avoid being in close physical contact with Children and Adolescents. Avoid any accidental sexual contact with a Child’s or Adolescent’s genitals. Learn to take immediate steps to leave any situation or environment, as soon as you start feeling sexually aroused in the midst of children and adolescents.