SEXUAL ABUSE OF CHILDREN AND ADOLESCENTS: WORKING WITH A GOOD ADVICE ENHANCES THE ABILITY TO PROTECT THE VULNERABLE.

By Nnabugwu Chizoba and Osim Jones Usim

If you have been following us on this platform, it is likely that you are a bit familiar with the issues we have discussed in the past. They are principally centered on protecting the Child from sexual molestation and abuse. For those who have not been following us, we urge you to access the previous publications and update your knowledge. Our discussions are issue oriented, educative, informative, solution driven and impactful. Welcome on board of today’s tour! 

Before anything else is said on this topic, we wish to propose that: People who are easily aroused by physical contact with another person, especially, the opposite sex, should be very careful about having physical/body contact with a child or adolescent, of the opposite sex, mainly. They should be careful to avoid any accidental contact with the girl child’s or adolescent’s genitals.

 In addition to the above, such people, must understand it is in their own best interest if they learn to act very swiftly by taking urgent steps to leave any environment, circumstance or situation, as soon as they begin to feel sexually aroused. It is equally essential for them to learn to avoid being alone with children and adolescents; to always, we mean as many times as the prospect occur, to resist any situation, even by way of an appeal, plea, begging, or pleading requesting them to. No amount of pressure should push them to rescind this position or decision, doesn’t matter, even if the plea is for them to help or assist with the child or adolescent.

On that note, parents, guardians, brothers/sisters, and friends must also learn to bear with those that resist situations where they are alone with the child or adolescent. Better a blush on the face than blot on the heart. We are not by any means implying that anybody that refuses to stay alone with a child or adolescent is an abuser. Similarly, we do not, by any stretch of imagination, suggest that whenever a situation like this arises, the person involved is trying to avoid a circumstance where he/she may abuse the child or adolescent sexually. 

One grievous error most people commit is to conclude that close relations, ranging from one’s own sons and daughters, brothers and sisters, loved ones etc, cannot abuse their own siblings sexually. Black sheep can be found anywhere. But working with a good advice enhances the ability to protect the vulnerable.

A common situation in which children are sexually molested is with teenage babysitters. This has mostly happened and is still most likely to happen with a teenager, who hasn’t had much sexual experience, who ordinarily would not think of someone they are babysitting in a sexual way, but has to help the same child to get changed for bed or with using the toilet. While doing this, the teenager, realizes that there is an opportunity to find out what genitals really is, or what it feels like to touch or fiddle with someone’s genital organ(s) … in a sexual way. 

The teenager may ‘impulsively’ (without giving much thought to what they are doing or the consequences) do something sexual with the child. This sort of molestation happens with male or female babysitters.

“OK TOUCHING” AND “BAD TOUCHING”

One way to reduce the likelihood of sexual molestation, taking place with a babysitter, is to make your babysitter know that you have spoken to your child, especially, the adolescent, about the difference between okay touching and sexual or “bad” touching. This discussion can take place with your babysitter as part of a routine checklist. Create opportunities for regular interface with your child, such as bedtime discussions, reading favourite story book together, providing contact and opening communication line where you can be reached easily by your child. 

This approach will cushion the effect of a likely gap between you and your child and create feeling of fear and suspicion in your babysitter who now beliefs that your child can easily relay to you whatever that happens. It will also get your babysitter thinking about the whole issue of child molestation and its consequences. In this way a babysitter is less likely to act impulsively when, or if they have a sudden sexual thought or feeling involving your child.

In all cases, adults who sexually molest a child or adolescents has made a choice to commit a sexual offence. They know that it is wrong, that they are abusing the power they have over the victim, in order to satisfy their own desires.